Sleep: The Second Chapter

Some of you may remember that one day I want to write a book. This will be the book of all books. It will be a book that will offer advice to new teachers that's practical and pointless at the same time.

Well, great news folks -  I've thought of another chapter for my book! At this rate, I'll have my book written by the year 2035. You'll be able to read it on Mars with your grandchildren. Enough about the future! Let's move on to chapter two of My Future Book That Does Not Have a Title:

Sleep

I remember a professor in college suggested that we keep a notepad by our beds. That way, if we had any brilliant ideas in the middle of the night we could jot them down. I thought, "Wow! That's a brilliant idea. I'll do that too." Sadly, I don't have any ideas in the middle of the night. More importantly, once I've entered into the sleepy-time twilight zone, I'm no longer a contributing member of society. I'm dead to the world. If you call me past my bedtime, I'll probably answer, "What?" and maybe hang up on you. It's not your fault! The sleepiness has just taken over me. It's a slippery slope folks. 

I tested out this notepad strategy. Unfortunately, I found out that my brain definitely doesn't function when I'm in sleep mode. That notepad that was next to my bed wound up full of scribbles. Scribbles do nothing for my productivity.  They also don't typically generate any bright ideas. It was as if a toddler came in my room and wrote their to do list down. The sad thing was, I was usually jotting down my ideas before I'd even entered this self-titled sleepy-time twilight zone. Over the years, I've realized that very few things are successful while I'm in sleep mode. For example,  I've also tried to send text messages in the wee hours of the morning. Guess how that turns out? Not well. Usually someone will get a message that has to be decoded by Nicholas Cage.

I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that doctors recommend around 7-8 hours of sleep per night. That's a little stingy if you ask me. I'm one that thrives on sleep. If I'm tired... guess what? I go to bed. I have never been able to stay up all night and finish a book, work really late at night, or pull an infamous "all-nighter". I was on the one cooking breakfast for my crazy roommates who had stayed up all night. I was well rested like a normal human cooking egg sandwiches for the zombies upstairs. I am what some might call a morning person. That's why you'll probably receive texts or calls from me in the EARLY hours of the morning. Again, sorry friends... I assume that if I'm awake, you are too!

I wish I could stay up late. Actually no, that's a lie. I don't wish that at all. I wish I wasn't a huge dump of a human when I don't get sleep. Some people turn angry, grumpy, or weird on no sleep. Not me! I'm just extremely boring and no fun. You might as well put a label on me that says, "No Fun Happening Over Here."  If you're someone who can operate under little to no sleep, I congratulate you. My friend and I were nick named Grandma #1 and Grandma #2 at the age of 16 because of our early to bed policy. Let's just say, I'm 24 and not a lot has changed. 

There is one piece of advice that I can offer you if sleep is becoming a burden in some way. I had an epiphany one morning after a lonnng day of work:

I came home late from work one afternoon during my first year of teaching. I remember I had several phone calls to catch up on. I hopped on my bed and began catching up with a few of my girlfriends. After chatting for awhile, I fell asleep. The next thing I knew it was the next morning and I was STILL wearing the same clothes from the day before. A few things crossed my mind:

1. I'm already dressed for work! Will anyone notice?

2. I skipped dinner. Ugh. 

3. This isn't right! Something has to change!

I was right, something HAD to change! I wasn't going to allow myself to fall asleep in my work clothing. No, no, no... that would never happen again. You're probably thinking I'm going to suggest coffee, more sleep, a red bull, or turning off my computer earlier. Nope! I have something very simple for you.  After that dreaded morning of waking up in my work clothes I made a change in my afternoon routine. From that day forward, I began putting on my pajamas as soon as I got home every evening. Now, if I did happen to fall asleep at 6:00 PM (before the sun sets) I was already wearing my pajamas. See folks? That's why they pay me the big bucks. I have big ideas!